Hello!  Thanks for checking us out and welcome to The Sisterhood of the Long Boobs – a name too good not to use, taken from an comment made by one of our wonderful children who never fail to make us laugh (and sometimes cry) with their delightfully innocent and entirely tactless childhood observations!  There are three of us of the Long-boobed variety – Sister X, Sister Y and myself, the scribe, Sister Evangeline (because ‘Z’ would have been too predictable and, let’s face it, if you’re picking a name – and have watched The Princess and the Frog several hundred times – Evangeline is a pretty kick-ass one!!!).

With three of our youngest offspring recently despatched into the Education system we decided what better excuse to keep meeting every week (not that we really needed an excuse – we do actually enjoy each other’s company … I think!) than to give ourselves the challenge of hunting down good cake! So, whilst many of our other school mum friends were enthusiastically donning those strangely patterned lycra? trousers and meeting on the playground for group running sessions (shudder!) we thought we would take the more leisurely and less sweaty approach to maintaining some vague level of fitness. The hope is that the one remaining teeny (mine) will sit contentedly cooing in her buggy whilst we take in the tea rooms of semi-rural Essex!

For our first outing we decided to head to Heybridge Basin and The Lock Tea Room, owned by Wilkin & Sons (them of the Tiptree Jam fame). So here goes …..

Twas a glorious day, the sun was shining and the sky was blue. The tide was out and so the boats laid bare and gleaming on the river bed as we wandered along the bank towards Goldhanger, chewing the fat and bemoaning the highly inconvenient and unnecessarily awkward settling in session times Sister Y’s youngest’s school had imposed upon the new intake. In truth, we didn’t walk too far (no need to go hell for leather and wear ourselves out on the first excursion) – just to the Blackwater Sailing Club and back to the tea rooms.

It was such a beautiful day that all the outdoor tables were taken so we had to sit inside. No sooner had our bottoms touched the seats and our minds began to mull over what yummy treats we might partake of than Sister X’s phone rang. Now, Sister X is a refreshing rarity of our mobile obsessed times.  I have no idea what make of phone she has as I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it in her hand, so for it to ring and for her to answer it was quite an event! After an initial, concerned; ‘Oh no! What’s happened?’ her end of the conversation went more along the lines of, ‘hmmm …. right ….. well I’ve just ordered coffee so I’ll be a while.’ (tiny white lie). It turned out that Husband X had gone out for a bike ride that same morning, sans money and puncture repair kit and, you guessed it, had a puncture! The real kicker was that he had actually made it as far as the local bus station on his little expedition and so, had the silly sausage had a couple of quid in his pocket, he would have been able to get himself and his busted mount home! Sister X’s sympathy obliterated, she left him with the instructions to sit and enjoy the sun – it was a beautiful day after all – and she would be there just as soon as she could gobble her coffee and cake (that she hadn’t ordered yet!!)

And so, crisis averted, we were able to sit and enjoy the delights The Lock had to offer, namely chocolate cake, a rather shockingly bright red velvet cake and almond tart! Of course, conversation turned to the disorganised-ness (I know, not a word!) of husband X and how he may be suffering from separation anxiety following a family holiday and subconsciously have taken to the streets ill-prepared on purpose, knowing that he may require the assistance of his beloved wife …. Okay, so Sister X might be in her second year studying for a diploma in Psychotherapy …. The conversation culminated in my fabulous and naturally very witty idea of buying him one of those little bike purse/pouch things that strap to the crossbar – in which one may choose to keep, say, some spare change and a small puncture repair kit- for Christmas!

Apologies, I have digressed rather shockingly from the purpose of the blog! The cake was very delicious. The venue was, I would say, semi buggy friendly in that, on a quiet day there would be no problem manoeuvring around the tables and finding somewhere to park but, on a colder, rainy day when more of the tables would undoubtedly be occupied, it might be a struggle and some furniture rearranging may have to take place – with more than one buggy it could result in calamity! The outdoor space is lovely on a fair weather day – if you are lucky enough to get a table.  It isn’t the cheapest of places – my cake alone was £3.95 – but they are yummy scrum and it was a reasonably large slice. The staff were polite and quite smiley – not super friendly, engaging customers in conversation types but not unfriendly either. All in all we will return, of that I can be fairly certain! So, it’s a ‘yes’ from the Sisterhood …. Until next time xxx

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